I remember vividly the first time it happened to me. I was in my first apartment assembling a piece of furniture, maybe a bookcase, I can’t remember. At any rate, I had the pieces laid out on the living room floor in nice piles and the instruction sheet was right in the middle of the floor. I left for a moment to get a cup of tea and when I returned, everything was normal except that the instruction sheet had vanished! Now, understand, I don’t mean I had misplaced it or moved it. When I left the room, it was right in the middle of the floor. I had no pets. I was the only person there and this was a small apartment. And it was gone. Naturally, I took the place apart looking for it, but it was never to be found again…even when I eventually moved.
It just happened again the other night. I was sitting on a trunk at the end of my bed, trying to fix a hangnail. I had cuticle scissors and clippers. I laid the clippers down next to me on the trunk and was using the scissors. When I went to reach for the clippers again – they were gone. Immediately I assumed they had fallen, so I got down on the floor, looked under the bed – nothing! I walked around the bed, searching the carpet – nothing! I probably searched that room fifty times and have never found the damned clippers! Come on! Where could they have gone? I hadn’t left the room. No one else was in the room. I just don’t get it!
This kind of thing has happened to me enough times in my life that I’ve come to the conclusion that, for whatever reason, certain things just vanish. I know how crazy that sounds, but I can find no other explanation. There must somewhere be a “Land of Lost Stuff,” where certain items take refuge. Either that, or aliens are starting some kind of museum. (Yeah, you knew I had to bring up aliens! But, it could happen.)
Anyway, this place (probably in the sky,) is loaded with all kinds of articles. There are, of course, a million orphan socks. (You don’t really believe dryers eat them, do you?) And there are mugs, shoes, pens, underpants, toys, umbrellas, my instruction sheet, my clippers and so many earring backs you couldn’t begin to count them! I like to think of them as all partying wildly in celebration of their freedom. They probably all send little telepathic messages to their comrade items on earth saying, “Come on! You can do it! Join us! Be free! Imagine her face when she turns around and…you’re gone!”
It’s either that or some diabolical conspiracy by manufacturers throughout the world. Maybe they’ve devised a machine that can make things vanish so that we’ll have to keep buying new stuff to replace the stuff that has disappeared. Nothing would surprise me anymore.
So, what do you think? Surely, sometime in your life you’ve experienced this phenomenon. As for me, I’m a believer. And that’s why I’m bringing this post to a close…before the laptop goes!