Too Close for Comfort: A Nose Saga

We’ve all had it happen.  You’ll be standing in line and happen to glance at the person next to you and unconsciously cringe.  Maybe the person is standing there, all innocent and everything, unaware that they have a big booger hanging out of their nose!  Or, (and this one always gets me,) the person has a huge mole on their face, out of which is sprouting a monster  black hair about an inch long!  When I see that, I always wonder, “Doesn’t this person ever look in the mirror?  Don’t they own a pair of tweezers?”  And then I think, “Why didn’t someone mention that to them?”

Some of my friends and I don’t hesitate to – as I see it, nurture each other this way.  It isn’t uncommon for us to say, “you have a piece of spinach in your teeth,” or “there’s a blob of ranch dressing on your top lip,” or, as I’m often told, “you just dripped mustard on your top.”  But, what do you do about strangers?  In this day and age you have to be careful, because you could say something to the wrong person and they’d whip out their AK-47 and blow you away!

The reason I’m thinking about all this is because of something I just discovered about an hour ago.  I’m trying to keep a temporary filling in my mouth until my dentist appointment in January.  So, a little bit ago, I felt the need to check on it, which involves a flashlight, a dental mirror and the magnifying side of my makeup mirror.  So there I was shining the flashlight in my mouth, and all was well with the filling.  But, as I had my head tilted back, I got a good look at the inside of my nose…not something you do every day.  And, horror of horrors!  I discovered one renegade nose hair which had “made break for it,” and was curling outside my nose!  How humiliating is that?   I was mortified! How long had that little guy been there?  Had anyone noticed?  If I hadn’t had the flashlight, the magnifying mirror and my reading glasses on, would it have continued to curl its way out of there until it would have been long enough to wear a bow?  Good grief!

I immediately got to work with the tweezers, and then grabbed the cuticle scissors and did a thorough trimming inside, in case any of those other little nose hair guys were getting ideas.  But really, it gave me pause for thought.  Will I ever get to the point where my eyesight is so bad that I’ll be walking around with a face full of boogers, whiskers and nose hairs and have no idea whatsoever?  I’ll just be walking around, smiling and nodding at people just like I was a normal person instead of a living human hair farm and petri dish!  If so, shoot me now!

Oh, I know, I know.  I’m making too big a deal out of it.  My friends would be the first to tell you that I spend far too much time looking in the mirror to ever let things reach that point.  And they’re right…for now.  And, if I do start “slipping,” well, there are always very effective disguises.  I could wear something like this and no one would even look at me twice…RIGHT? And, if they do, I’ll just tell them…well, I’ll just tell them I’m YOU!

Okay, I feel much better now…