A strange, but funny thing happened to me Friday and, since I’m as willing to laugh at myself as the next person, I decided to go ahead and share it with you. 
First of, let me explain that this summer I’ve been wearing a pedometer almost every day. I don’t do it to achieve any set goal, but rather to be able to look at it at the end of the day to see how much distance I’ve covered. It’s always good when I’ve felt like I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing, to check my pedometer and discover that at least I walked two to three miles! I never liked the type that attach to your waistband, so I was delighted to find one on Amazon that was actually a “pocket pedometer.” You simply slip it into your pocket and attach it to the edge of the pocket with a clip on the end of a little leash.
So Friday, after taking my friend Babs out for a birthday lunch, I got home and decided to change from jeans into a sundress because it was so hot. However, once I had the dress on, I realized it had no pocket and thus no place to put my pedometer! Well, I’d already clocked well over a mile on the pedometer and I wanted to finish out the day wearing it. What to do? What to do?
I finally decided as an experiment to slip it into the side of my underpants, hooking the little clip so it wouldn’t fall out. This was a bit unconventional, I know, but I figured that as long as I was careful each time I went to the bathroom, it would work fine. And it seemed to.
However, later in the evening, I was standing at the kitchen counter when a strange feeling came over me. Suddenly I had an urge to have a beer, scratch wherever it itched and never ask for directions. Where was this strange feeling coming from? Then I glanced down…only to behold a huge bulge in the front of my sundress, right between my legs!!! Yipes! I lifted the skirt of the dress and yes, you guessed it, the pedometer had worked it’s way to the front of my panties and had decided to stay there. How very macho of it! It was so awkward! So unseemly! I very quickly rectified the matter.
And then it occurred to me that men live with that feeling all the time! How very different the male experience must be, having to account for that “extra appendage” in everything they do. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like men. But, if given the choice, I’d always choose to be female.
Why? Because…well, because…our apparatus is…well, you know, ever so much more, shall we say…“tidy?” Or at least, that’s how it seems to me.
TOO funny! Though women get their own “appendages” which, for some of us, make us forever unable to satisfactorily throw a baseball ever again.
Ha ha ! I actually asked my hubby once “isn’t it annoying to have that stuff dangling around like that?”
His reply “not really, I’ve had it my whole life.”
Well, “I” sure wouldn’t want it!
You may be on to something. Possibly you’ll want to start wearing your pedometer there all the time, or at least when you’re out pumping gas, buying a car,
throwing a baseball, you get the idea. What a hoot!
This gave me a chuckle. Did the pedometer still work even though you had it in a X-rated position?
That is a hilarious story. That would be a bit uncomfortable huh!