Having taken early retirement has proven to be such a blessing in my life. I worked hard and saved a long time to make it happen, and I give thanks every day for my freedom from the corporate rat race. I really do.
But there is a downside to retiring many years before the traditional retirement age. Many of my good friends are still working. So they’re tied up during the week when I am free and their weekends are taken up with housework, errands and family. I remember that time crunch well. But it means that my time with them is generally relegated to quick lunches now and then.
Last spring I lucked out. I reconnected with a friend I’d known for twenty-six years who had also retired early and, wonder of wonders, lived close to my house. We picked up right where we’d left off and set out to have fun. We discovered that we both like to hike, explore neighborhoods and have new adventures so we jumped into the summer with both feet. You might remember many blog posts I wrote about the things my friend, Babs, and I did…like the time we were stalked by a pit bull in this post. Or the time we tried to hike prematurely and froze off our ta-ta’s in this one.
We discovered so many neat places and made so many great memories that I was sure that our friendship would go on forever.
I was wrong.
Due to circumstances beyond my control or understanding, she apparently has opted out. I believe this was due to other things going on in her life, but it broke my heart all the same. After awhile though, I realized that this was a choice she made, fully knowing the consequences and yet doing it anyway. In my world, true friends do not try to cause each other pain. Life is just too damned short for that kind of thing. So it’s time for me to get back up, brush myself off, and move forward with my life.
And now with spring creeping in, I’m getting an itch for adventure again. Thus I am in search of a playmate. I have other retired friends, but they either live too far away or else they’re not into the whole “hiking and exploring” thing. I can and have done it on my own, but it’s not as fun without someone to share it with.
So, what do I do? Advertise? I can just see the ad now: WANTED: Retired playmate. Must have a few gray hairs and obvious wrinkles. Ready to hit the highway or back roads in search of adventure. Singing with the radio is optional, but honesty and loyalty are not. Must like a good joke, eating at Steak and Shake, and acting immature when the situation requires it. Perfection is not necessary, just a sincere desire to make the most out of every single day. Contact Star at Star, Simplified, as soon as possible.
Think I’d get any takers? I wish it were that easy.
It is so painful when a seemingly good friend “opts out” of a friendship. It can really leave one with so many unanswered questions. I feel very sad for you – not only because you no longer have a playmate, but because this friend “opted out” without warning or explanation. This happened to me almost 13 years ago with a person I had been inseparable from for five years. It was one of the most painful things I had ever experienced. Of course, I’ve moved on now, but whenever I think about it, it still bothers me. Not knowing why she “opted out” is something I still wonder about. I hope you find a new playmate soon.
{{hugs}}
Pam – Thanks for the kind and understanding comments. Like you, I find the “not knowing why” the hardest part, considering that, up to that moment, things were absolutely great. I guess these are the kind of mysteries we’ll never be able to answer. Anyway, thanks for the hugs! I can always use them!
Sorry I can’t be there for you, Star, to travel, hike, eat at Steak’n'Shake (yum!) and do other spontaneous, goofy things.
There would be no opting out from this girlfriend!
Just Me – Arent’ you sweet? I have a feeling we would have big fun! But you know what? Never say “never” ’cause we can’t ever tell what life has in store for us!
I’ve found a good way to make new friends is to join groups that engage in activities I like. Hiking groups, amateur photographers, art classes… There are always fun, new people to meet that way. You sound like you have a real zest for life. You’ll be attracting new friends of all ages before you know it.
I’m sure there are others in your situation! I’m involved with a volunteer group and I notice that a number of folks are forming friendships for just the kind of adventure you describe. Don’t give up!
I found one of my best ‘playmates’ at a part-time job I took so I could meet people. We have such wonderful adventures when we get together.
Jayne – I know that’s good advice. The problem is that I’ve never been much of a “joiner.” But, I’ll keep my mind and my eyes open.
Blissed-Out Grandma – Thanks for the encouragement! I won’t give up. It’s just finding someone with whom I “click.”
Coffeetreefarm – I’m happy for you. I know how fun it is to find the right person to play with!
Hi Star. You’d get takers if all of us out here in blogland lived close enough to hike with you in real life instead of in virtual. You’ll find someone.
I took early retirement (although by now I’m well past the conventional ret. age) and it was a blessing. But back then it was hard to find people in the same sitiuation; all of my friends were still working. I actually bit the bullet and started walklng and hiking with a group at the local senior center (this was in Springfield Oregon). I was the youngest person there. But we had some great times and great hikes; some of those old ladies kicked &*&! I made some good friends and eventually some people closer to my age joined. I still go visit the group whenever we’re back in Oregon… and it’s funny how I used to be the youngest and now….. sigh!
Sallie – Thanks for the sweet comment! We’d have fun hiking, I’m sure! I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who has faced this problem. You came up with a good solution. I’m sure, eventually, I will, too.