The Mole MUST Die!

Last week we were blessed with at least two days in the seventies.  At long last the heaps and heaps of snow that surrounded us finally started melting away.  And when it was gone, I looked at the area of lawn right in front of my front porch and saw this:

Well, actually, this is a shot taken AFTER I had furiously pounded down all the mole tunnels and runs.  It was the first time I took an objective look and realized that The Mole, working surreptitiously under the snow, has managed to kill off virtually all of the grass in that area.  He has left me with a mud pit!  That bastard!

If you’ll remember the research I did in November 2009,  summarized in this post,  moles are active 24/7.  And this particular maniac doesn’t just limit his destruction to my yard.  I looked at my neighbor, Marcia’s and this is how hers is shaping up. You can see the bare spots where he attacked last summer, too.

In fact, between her yard and mine he must have found an earthworm buffet because he doesn’t seem to bother my other two neighbors whose yards attach to mine.  I’ve always loved looking out my front windows and seeing my tree and stepping-stones.  This is how they look now.

You can see all the scars in the earth where this filthy creature has continued his destruction!  When I first moved here I was naive enough to think that the lawn maintenance guys, for whom we pay hefty home owner association dues, would do something to remedy the problem.  Silly me.  Last summer Marcia called and was told they had “put something down.”  First of all, I don’t believe that.  Second of all, if they did, you can see how well it worked!  The lawn care expert on the radio says that poison peanuts, mole stuff and stuff crammed down into their tunnels don’t work.  The only thing that works is a harpoon trap.  In my experience that’s right.  In my last house it wasn’t until I resorted to traps that I finally caught one.

But, when I knew I’d be moving here, I gave those traps away.  What I’d like to know is…WHY ME?  Every house I live in has moles, while most of the time the neighbors are blissfully mole-free.  It’s not fair!  I feel like I’ve spent half my life fighting moles and I’M SICK OF IT!  Sick. Of. It.

I heard on the radio Saturday that in a 5,000 square foot yard, one trapper caught twenty-one moles!  Can you believe that?  I can’t let myself even consider the fact that I might have more than one or it might drive me totally over the brink of sanity!

But though I’m tired and war-weary, don’t think for a moment that I’m going to concede this battle.  I won’t stop until I nail his dead body to a tree, as a warning to all of his comrades.  I simply can’t let him completely trash my property’s value.  Meanwhile, I’d better be thinking of buying some grass seed.

Oh, and if you think I’m alone in this mania, watch this wonderful animated You-Tube piece entitled “The Mole” by Jasper Carrott.  It would be hilarious if it weren’t so damned true.