Incident Report

Wow!  A very weird thing happened to me this weekend!  I had to run to the mall and ended up parking pretty far out from the entrance.  I couldn’t have been in the stores more than maybe an hour because the sciatica in my leg has left it a little weak and I haven’t been able to bring it back to normal yet, so it was aching a bit.

Anyway, I carried my packages out and put them in the back hatch and got in.  The minute I sat down, I sensed something was wrong.  And then I saw it – the radio was missing!  OMG!  And then as I looked around, I noticed that the steering wheel, the brake pedal and accelerator pedals were gone as well!  What kind of guys had done this?  A traveling hock shop?  I looked around to see if anyone was watching but saw nothing suspicious.

I don’t know how long I sat there in shock before I realized that I needed to call 911.  While I waited for the police, I began to realize what a hassle this was going to be.  I mean, I would have to have to car towed and then rent a car while it was repaired.  I would have to deal with the insurance company.  It was just the kind of stress I don’t need right now.

About twenty minutes later, a policeman tapped on my window.  I rolled it down, and before he could say anything, I blurted out my whole story, illustrating all the things I was missing.

When I finished, the officer, who seemed very unaffected by the whole thing, said, “Ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you this…”

“Tell me what?” I asked, wondering how things could get any worse.

“Well, you see,” he said, “you’re sitting in the back seat!”

 

(Okay, okay, stop groaning!  You know if I had run this on April 1st, you would have seen it coming a mile away.)

Read Full Post »

Brain Push-ups?

As we baby boomers age, I’m noticing more and more articles on how important it is for us to exercise our brains.  In a way it’s a bit insulting, as if when we reach “a certain age,” we suddenly turn slack-jawed, roll our eyes up into our heads and murmur “Duh” and “Yup!” at regular intervals.  It is recommended that we do activities to stimulate our brains, such as puzzles or learning about new things.  I can’t imagine ever NOT stimulating my brain, but, whatever…

One thing I do enjoy is a good optical illusion.  I like the way it makes you look at things from a different perspective.  For example, you have the simple ones like this one.  Is it a bunch of white columns or black silhouettes of pairs of people facing each other?  I love that it’s so obviously both!

Then there’s this graffiti from a subway station, which I think is simply brilliant.  The fact that it’s carried from the wall to the floor so effortlessly shows that the artist has a real eye for perspective.  It’s mind-bending.  (I’m thinking of trying this in my basement!)

But a good optical illusion doesn’t have to be elaborate.  Take this picture.  Look at it one way and it’s a person.  Look at it another, and it’s the word “Liar.”  Cool, huh?

As usual, I’ve saved my favorite for last.  The first time I tried this one I was both amazed and delighted.  Then I laughed out loud.  On first glance, it’s a picture of Albert Einstein.  No problem with that.  Now, step back from computer about five feet and it becomes a photo of Marilyn Monroe!  Really!  It DOES!  I swear!  I can’t get over this one.  It’s so fun.

Okay, well, if you’ve managed to stay with me this long, congratulations!  I’d say our brains are probably simply glowing from all that exercise!  So now you have my permission to give your brain a break and let yourself be dumb for a few hours.  (Maybe go tweet or something!)

Later,

Read Full Post »

Sarcastic Much?

Do you have times when, even though you know you should restrain it, that nasty retort somehow works its way out of your mouth anyway?  I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older, I’m much more tempted to just “tell it like it is” and let the chips fall where they may.  If you find yourself having difficulty wrangling your saucy tongue, then maybe you or someone you know could use the following drug.

Just thought you might like to start your week out with a smile.  Have a good one!

Read Full Post »

Star, the Headmistress

Have you ever been shopping and seen something that intrigued you, but you resisted temptation and didn’t buy it?  That happened to me last December.  I was Christmas shopping with a friend at Pier 1, which is one of my favorite stores.  As we wandered through the aisles, admiring this and that, my eye was drawn to something which immediately captured my imagination.  It was a HEAD.  But it was not just any head.  It was a green-tinted head made in Spain.  While my friend was wondering what on earth one would do with such a thing, I was going through the endless possibilities.  It was only $19.99, but it was Christmas and I had gifts to buy for other people.  But I did drop some pretty heavy hints to my friend that the head would be a great gift for me, if someone might be wondering.  Unfortunately, the hints didn’t take, and I was destined to go through Christmas headless.   But I never forgot about it…

Flash forward to last Friday.  I had a to-do list of several errands, one which took me within a block of Pier 1.  As I headed toward the stoplight, I had to make a split decision – right to go home, left to the store.  Visions of The Head danced through my mind.  Did I need The Head?  No.  Should I get The Head anyway?  Darned right, I should!  I turned left.

As I pulled into the lot, my hopes were not high.  What were the odds that something they carried in December would still be in stock in March?  Not too good, I’d say.  As I entered the store, a clerk asked, “May I help you?”  For some reason, “Yes, I’m here for my HEAD,” didn’t seem appropriate, so I just shook my head and smiled.  I headed straight to the area where The Head was last seen.  And there it was!

As a matter of fact, there were a half-dozen heads, all waiting for the discriminating buyer.  I chose the most intelligent-looking one, wrapped my arms around it and took it to the cashier.

She smiled and said, “Ah!  Now what does one do with these?”

I replied, “Well, I’ll have to try it out in several places, but I mainly just wanted to have it around.”

Was it my imagination or did she step back, just a tiny bit?

Anyway, it’s home with me now and I foresee good times.  I haven’t named it yet, because I haven’t decided if it’s a bald girl or a guy.  I’m leaning toward female because the nose is so delicate.  And she DOES look good with accessories!

So anyway, it seems like what they say is true.  Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get aHEAD!

Read Full Post »

Oddly Interesting…

Since I did a rant post not long ago, I decided to lighten up with this one and share with you some of the oddly interesting things I’ve come across in the past week.

This clever bottle stopper is so obviously perfect for its purpose that I’m surprised that no one invented it sooner!  It’s 12.95 at Amazon.com.

Next we have this cool wire frame sculpture by artist Benedict Radcliffe.  The story goes that it was ticketed when it was actually out on the street! (For parking.)  Wouldn’t it be cool to have something like this in your backyard?  I’d be afraid to park it in front of my house, for fear a couple of people could just pick it up and walk away!

Next up we have some very interesting, if not bizarre, crowns by Steve Heward, a dental technician and one of the world’s first tooth tattooists.  Anybody for an Elvis front tooth?  I think he’s really quite good.

And here’s something that would be fun to try.  It’s an illusion you can create with money.  Isn’t that neat?  I don’t think American money would be as fun to do it with as British money is.

Well, that’s about it, but I thought it would be good to leave you with a little self-illumination I found as a desktop wallpaper.

After all, who doesn’t need to be self-illuminated?  Hmm?

Read Full Post »

Odd Is Interesting…Sometimes

If you’ve read this blog at all, you’ll know that I’m often fascinated by the odd, the bizarre or just the little known.  So today I’ve gathered together a few things I’ve run across that I found interesting, totally off-the-wall or just puzzling. I hope you enjoy them.

The first is the Puli dog.  This little dog’s hair is a lot like dreadlocks, but are called “cords.”  They start to form when the pup is nine months old and require extensive grooming to keep the hair from matting.  Although I’ve never had a dog, this one looks particularly cuddly.

This next is a baby pacifier called “The Billy Bob.”  While amusing, I suppose, why would anyone want their baby looking like this?

Okay, and for the man who has everything, there’s always the “Potty Putter.”  Do people actually order these things?

This next one, the Psycho Shower Curtain, is right up my alley, although I’m sure it would make many of you uneasy.  It’s $22.99 at Amazon.

And last, but not least, we have the Mickey Mouse contacts.  Now if you can explain to me why anyone would wear these, please leave me a comment!

Okay, I guess I’ve messed with your mind enough for one day.   All I can say is, it’s an interesting world we live in, isn’t it?

Read Full Post »

Dead Fly Creativity

Usually I don’t pass on things I’ve been forwarded, never knowing how a recipient may feel about receiving these type of things.  But recently, I received something that captured my imagination.  After doing a little research, I found it was the work of Magnus Muhr.

Here’s how I received it:

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE BORED AT WORK: (although I think this could be for when you’re just plain bored anywhere that there are dead flies!)
1. Kill a few Flies

2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour.

3. Once they are dry, pick a pencil and paper… Let your  imagination flow.

Here are a few examples…  standing

Jumping…

Racing…

Sunning…

And finally, diving…

There were a lot more, but these were my favorites.  I only wish I had thought of this first.  AND, that I could find this big a supply of dead flies!   Anyway, I hope these gave you a wee bit of a buzz!  They did me, but then, I’m easy!  

Read Full Post »

No Business Like Snow Business

Okay, I know I’ve been doing a lot of whining about the relentless snow (with good reason,) and I’ll admit it has been getting to me.  So, I decided that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade…right?  Consequently, I searched the web for some funny and/or creative snowmen to cheer me up and found a few to share with you.

This first one is interesting simply because you don’t often see snowmen doing headstands.

I like the way this next one is hiding from the guy with the snowblower.

This next one is particularly cool, if a bit gross.  One snowman has stolen the other’s heart…

This next one is really fun.  I wonder how much time it took to create this little snowman army.

And finally, no snowman post would be complete without my very own Little Pierre!  Rest in peace, little fellow…

So see?  I AM trying to cope with all this filthy snow!  Hope you enjoyed these guys as much as I did!

Read Full Post »

Almost Christmas!

For those of you with many obligations, the holiday stresses of shopping, wrapping presents, cooking, decorating, trying to please everyone and doing your best to be in the Christmas spirit, are probably starting mount up.  Now is the time to take a moment and breathe!  That’s right!  Relax your muscles and slowly breathe in and breath out.  And because Dr. Star is always on the job trying to take care of you, I’ve brought you two things which should, at the very least, bring a smile to your face.

The first is my idea of decorating.  (Psst!  I’d be the house on the right!)

And before you return to your hectic pace, take a moment and watch this short You-Tube video of “The Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah.”  I’ve watched this so many times and never grow tired of it.

See?  Now don’t you feel better?  I thought you would!

Read Full Post »

Bits And Pieces #13

Ah, so many little bits and pieces of stuff have been floating around in my brain!  It’s funny how the news is really no longer truly “new,” if you know what I mean.  Every day I turn on television and just know that there will be another revelation about Tiger Woods.  And also at this time of year, you can bank on the story popping up wherein a house has been burglarized and all of the kids’ Christmas presents have been stolen.  And, if you listen a little longer, you’ll hear another story of how the neighbors or some organization all pitched in a replaced all of the presents.  Awww!

*********************************************************

This past week the Consumer Protection Agency recalled 150 million Roman shades because children could get choked by the cords. And my first thought was – “Big Brother is intruding more into our lives every day.”  I mean, come one, people, for crying out loud!  Of course the cords are dangerous to small children and babies!  What isn’t?  Using their rationale, shouldn’t we recall toasters?  Little fingers could be burned!  Well, hell, what about anything on a kitchen counter with a cord?  Little hands could pull things down.  What about recalling bathtubs and sinks?  They are clearly drowning hazards!  Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!  But wait!  I have a better idea that will help protect children!  Why don’t we recall (or imprison) all toxic parents who are too damned dumb to watch out for their own children? Wouldn’t that solve a whole lot of problems?  I think so!

**********************************************************

I came home one day this past week to find that Santa had left something on my library floor to be assembled.  It looked like this:

So, I translated the instructions the best I could and ended up with this!

Whoopee!  An air hockey table!  I wonder how he knew I wanted one?

**********************************************************

And my final topic is the holiday traffic.  Don’t you just HATE it when you get stuck behind some dick in a pick-up truck?

Sorry.  And here you thought I was this little angel!  Well, I guess it’s better the truth came out now, rather than after I was nominated for the Supreme Court or something…  

Read Full Post »