It started a couple of days ago. I woke up and went into the bathroom to wash my face. But, when I looked into the mirror, I got a shock. My bangs were standing straight up! Let me clarify why that was so odd. I have the kind of bangs that are relatively thick and are the kind which lay down straight just by the force of gravity. Still, it would be normal if I got up and they were messy, as in tousled or disarranged or even swept a bit to the side. But, in order to achieve the look I found, I would have had to wet them down, apply hair gel and then comb them straight up to dry that way! Sure, I’ve been on pain pills for my back, but come on! I would never do that to my hair in a million years! As I gazed at this totally unfamiliar me, I began to get seriously creeped out. I started looking around to make sure there weren’t hidden cameras somewhere.
Then today when I woke up, I noticed that one of the bottles of e-juice (for my electronic cigarette,) that was on the nightstand was missing. I had used it before I went to bed and it should have been right there with another bottle. It was gone. I’m the only person who lives in my house. I got up and checked the bookcase, my vanity table and the bathroom counter and it was nowhere to be found. Once again, creepy feeling. After a cup of coffee, I was making the bed and, out of curiosity, looked under it. I saw the bottle cap first and then the bottle, but not at the edge of the bed where it would have been if I had knocked if off the nightstand in my sleep. It was way in the middle under the bed, so far under that I had to crawl to get it! Now, how could that have happened? How could it have fallen off and rolled way under there? The floor is carpeted.
It was about now that I began to wonder about elves or maybe some other-worldly sort of beings. After all, I’m known to be alien-friendly. But still, I decided to let it go as some sort of inexplicable fluke…until now.
I was in the kitchen drying some dishes, using the dish towel which I took off the rack. As I was drying a bowl, I felt something round and hard in the dish towel. When I tracked it down with my fingers, I saw it was one of the little rubber feet from the bottom of one of my iBooks! Huh? I went to check the iBook. Sure enough, one of its little feet was missing. But here’s the thing, at no time have those two objects ever been in the same room. Never. So how did the little foot make its way into the kitchen? Not by human means, I can tell ya that!
So yes, my house has been invaded by elves or aliens or alien elves or something. I’m sure they have a great sense of humor and are, even now, circulating a picture of me with my bangs standing straight up on their little Facebook pages.
So it starts out funny, but who knows where it goes from here? All I can say is that if I don’t appear on this blog in a couple of days, you might want to notify the National Security Council or the folks at Area 51 or something. Just sayin’