Times are changing, and what with texting and tweeting, where people don’t even bother to spell out entire words, I fear there’s fast becoming a loss of appreciation for well-crafted writing.
The pen truly can be mightier than the sword, but the sword is faster and requires less training and too many people today rely on four-letter words to get their meaning across. But, oh! There’s nothing like a heartfelt, eloquent love letter or a wickedly sarcastic insult to illustrate your point, which brings me to today’s post.
This has been circulating around the Internet, but, in case you haven’t seen it, here are prime examples of when insults had class.
When Insults Had Class
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”
He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” - Oscar Wilde
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” - Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go..” – Oscar Wilde
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” - Groucho Marx
A little better than those four-letter curses, aren’t they? I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did!
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