I’d heard about it, but had never observed it…until now…
A couple of days ago I stepped out onto my balcony in the cold to check the sky for interesting clouds to photograph. I heard a noise and saw my neighbor’s boyfriend, two balconies over, striding out. He walked to the balcony rail, covered one nostril with a finger, and then shot snot out the other nostril onto the driveway with all his might!!!!
I stood there frozen, turned to stone by the utter vulgarity of the action.
Meanwhile, having launched his “snot rocket,” he returned to the house like a man satisfied by a good day’s work.
What kind of man does something like that? What kind of man puts on a jacket and goes out onto the freezing cold balcony to expel mucous from his nose? Has he never heard of tissues? For crying out loud! Is this guy a Neanderthal? Is he practicing for some kind of nasal Olympics? Gross!
And what about her? Does she watch this disgusting display and then welcome him back inside with big fat kiss on the lips? Call me a prude, but, to me, this would be like French kissing your dog after he had just eaten his own vomit! Okay, maybe not exactly the same, but close enough. Watching boogers fly out my boyfriend’s nose would not ignite my sexual passion, I can tell you that!
I had a close friend who had been brought up in the country, and she once told me that all of her brothers blew their noses like that when they were outside. At the time I found it hard to believe. But now I’m wondering if there isn’t a veritable secret league of these “snot blasters,” going through each day shooting their snot into the wind willy-nilly.
If that’s true, it could put one off outdoor picnics forever! I mean, imagine taking a bite of your hamburger, when a wayward stream of booger-laden snot comes out of nowhere and suddenly hits you in the forehead! It doesn’t bear thinking of!
And here’s another consideration. If these men are so averse to using tissues, what do they do in the bathroom when they have, uh…bigger business to take care of? I don’t even want to go there!
Anyway, after seeing “Mr. Booger” shoot his snot overboard with such casual disregard for (a) spectators, (b) the environment and (c) public decency, I can never look at him the same way again. And, as for shaking hands with him? Forget it. Maybe it’s just me, but I consider what he did the height of repulsive, nasty gross-iosity!
And it makes me wonder how many people I know do this and I’m just not aware of it. I hope I never find out.
I guess there’s a lesson to be learned in this. The next time you step outside for a big breath of fresh air, be sure to look around first and make very sure that’s all you’re going to get! Just sayin’.
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