Well, one can’t escape it. Black Friday heralded the beginning of our being bombarded with Christmas music, Christmas decorations and messages to buy, buy, buy! Usually on Thanksgiving day, I put up a four foot tree in the living room and a mini-tree up in my bedroom. I decorate the house, and then, usually a few days later, put up some outside “signs of the season.” But I haven’t this year.
Here’s my dilemma: every year my “main Christmas” was spent with my last remaining family, my little sister, Randi. She’d come over and we’d go out for a nice dinner. Then we’d come back to my house and open presents and then laugh and talk and share memories for hours. But, if you’ve read much of this blog, you know why that’s not going to happen this year. If you haven’t, suffice it to say, she’s not in my life anymore and this will be a very different Christmas for me. Consequently, I just can’t get in the mood. I have friends I buy presents for, but I can’t even get motivated to do that.
So, as I see it, I have two options. I can put up my trees and hope that they bring “the spirit” with them. After all, I do love twinkly lights! But, in doing that, I run the risk of being reminded over and over that Randi won’t be coming over to share them with me. And I wonder if, after awhile, it will feel like the festive decorations are somehow mocking me…you know, “everyone has someone to share Christmas with but you , Star!” It could throw me into a pit of self-pity, and I don’t want that under any circumstances.
My other option is to simply take a “pass” this year. Leave the house the way it is, and try to avoid getting overly sentimental, although I’m sure that will happen from time to time. I could just plan to watch movies or do whatever it takes to distract me. Then maybe next year, I’ll have enough distance from the hurt and pain that I can go back to enjoying the holidays.
And, I suppose there is a third option, where I could do a little, just not the whole shebang. I’ve been going back and forth about this and I’m just kind of numb at this point.
So, Gentle Reader, what do you think? I could use any and all advice. Just hit “comment” and give me your view of things. Have you ever had to deal with the holidays during a bad time in your life? How did you cope? Should I decorate or just give myself a break? Anything you’re willing to share will be greatly appreciated, I assure you.