Yeah, yeah, I know, you don’t want to think about it. But, like it or not Christmas is only about five weeks away. Desperate retailers are already moving up “Black Friday” and leaking some of their bargains early. There is an advantage to getting in on this early in that you’ll probably save some money. And then, if you plan to order on-line, you need to allow time for shipping. I’ve already ordered a few presents, and ‘m trying to think of “just the right thing” for a couple more.
And, it’s at this time of year I always remember those gifts, you know the ones, where you unwrap them and say, “Oh. Thank you?” There’s just something about getting a gift that shows you that the giver has no idea who you are, that hurts. So it really does pay to give each other lists. For example, there are certain things that are never right for me…ever. So I thought I’d throw out five of them here, in case Santa is trying to decide what to give me.
1) “Cute” sweatshirts. You know the ones, with kitties or puppies. And that goes double for holiday sweatshirts as well. I love sweatshirts, big ones, but I don’t want anything on the front except words. I know a lot of people really love these, but, quite frankly, I would die if I had to wear this. Seriously.
2. Bath creams or lotions that smell like fruits or vegetables. Don’t laugh! I’ve seen (and received) lotions that smelled like peaches, strawberries, kiwis, apricots, and cucumbers. The last thing I want to do when I step out of the bathtub is to slather my body in something that makes me smell like a cucumber! Or an apricot (which I don’t even eat!) Heck, if I’m going to smell like food, then get me some that smells like a good medium rare steak or bacon! I once tried to use up some peach lotion that was given to me, but it tended to trigger my gag reflex. Enough said. Flowers are good.
3) Candles. I know what you’re saying, “Who doesn’t love candles?” Well, I love them…when there’s a power outage. Unfortunately, for some reason, for me candles have always represented the “I-couldn’t-think-of-anything-else” gift. I’ve even bought them for that reason, I’m ashamed to say. But, unless they are very unique, they’re boring. I’d rather have a slinky. Oh wait, I already do.
4) Something for my walls. People have given me wall decorations in the past and it tends to make me very uncomfortable. If you read this blog at all, you know that my house is a very personal refuge for me that reflects my tastes and personality. I love decorating it myself. Someone giving me pictures of cute kitties (see #1) or, God forbid, something like this are really playing with fire. Hear me, Santa? No more reindeer antlers!
5) Ugg Boots. These boots represent a phenomenon I’ll never understand. I know they’re hot and you’ll see them on many models but, for the life of me, I can’t understand why. Wearing these boots, your feet are making a statement that is simply not me. They’re saying “Hi! I’m Nanook of the North!” If my footwear wants to say anything, I want it to be “Yes, I may be frivolous, but I’m cute, no?” To me, they’ll always be “Ugg – ly.”
Okay, well that should give Santa a place to start. Do any of you have certain things that are definitely on your “NO” Lists? Hit “comment” and share them with me. I’d love to hear them! (And please, no preachy comments about “it’s the thought that counts.” I’d like to hear you say that when you’ve just unwrapped a re-gifted fruitcake or The Clapper!)