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Archive for August, 2009

Candy bitsWell, it’s time once again to get rid of some of that random stuff buzzing around in my consciousness.  This time I’ve got an update, an observation and an opinion.  So, here goes…

This is an update to the neighbors who were parking in their neighbors’ driveway for three weeks straight.  I guess they did it once too often.  One day a Realtor came to show the house and swung around to park in the driveway in back when she saw there was a car already there.  She ended up parking perpendicularly behind my house instead.  I’m sure she put a bee in the listing Realtor’s ear, because she called me to ask, once again, whose car that was.

It turns out she had misunderstood me and thought it was someone a few houses down.  I told her it was the neighbor right on the other side.  She was shocked.  “Why would they park there when they have a perfectly good driveway of their own? ” she asked me.  I told her that was the Question of the Century.  “Well, they’re going to have to STOP,” she told me, then thanked me and hung up.

Well!  She must have really put the smack down on them because ever since that day, they’ve parked in their own drive.  All’s well that ends well, except that now we’ll never know why they did it in the first place! It kills me.  I just hope they don’t take away my Amateur Detective’s License!

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Hello, my name is Star and I’m a Dexterholic.  The DVD of season three of “Dexter” was released last week and on the day it was available, there I was hitting the store, as if there was going to be a run on Dexters  at 9:00 a.m.on a Tuesday morning!  Since I choose not to have cable, one of the sacrifices I have to make is waiting a whole year after the “cable people” have seen a show.  But that’s okay.  The anticipation has been sweet, so sweet in fact, that I forced myself to wait from Tuesday until Sunday when I have my “movie afternoon.”  It was so great to see all of my old friends from the show, sort of like the first day of school after you and your friends have all been away to camp or on vacation.  But like any good little addict, I told myself, “Take it slowly.  Maybe we’ll only watch one little episode today. ” AS IF! I hate it when I play myself for a fool like that.

Pretty soon it was, “Okay, maybe two…they’re small, what harm will it do?” That’s when the Dexterholic in me plunged ahead and started episode three before I could stop her!  Oh, the horror!  Thank goodness at this point, some little Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder yelled, “Star!  Step away from the Dexter and keep your hands where I can see them…” And I did.  But it’s going to be a great run.  I can just tell.

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This past week, when everyone else was observing a moment of silence Mary Jofor the “Lion of the Senate,” I was observing a separate silence in remembrance of Mary Jo Kopechne, who died underwater in a tidal channel on Chappaquiddick Island in July of 1969, in a car driven by that “Lion of the Senate.”  (Read the whole story HERE.)

If he had reported the accident immediately, experts say she could have been saved.  As it was, she probably survived in an air bubble for two hours.  But instead of getting help, the “Lion of the Senate” freaked out (concerned with his reputation, no doubt) and went home.  When he saw they had discovered the body the next morning, he went to the police station and confessed to leaving the scene of an accident.  He was sleeping while she was terrified, gasping for air…

Mary Jo Kopechne died at 29.

The “Lion of the Senate” received a two month suspended sentence.  Must be nice to be a Kennedy.

I may be criticized for writing this piece, but, you know what?  I don’t care.  While the world appeared to be mourning for the Kennedys, I kept wondering how this must have made Mary Jo’s family feel, hearing this man being called a hero, while their daughter and what he did to her was totally forgotten.  Well, I haven’t forgotten.

So, Mary Jo, I’m remembering YOU. I hope your spirit received justice in heaven, because you certainly didn’t receive it here on earth.  Rest in peace.

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That’s all.

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A Dirty Secret

First off, I’m no fanatic “Suzy Homemaker,” but I do like things clean and tidy.  That’s why I absolutely love reading articles that give tips and hints on how to make cleaning easier.  But, I have never originated one…until now.

It’s important to me that my kitchen is as clean as it can possibly be.  I always wipe down the counters and run the garbage disposal until I’m sure every bit of garbage is way, way down the sewer (or wherever it goes.) Having said that, let me ask you something.  Have you ever stepped into your kitchen and thought you could detect a slight garbage smell, but could not, despite your best efforts, find where it was coming from?  I’m sure you checked the sink and it was fine, right? drain No old garbage waiting to be ground, right?  It was totally clean – right again?  Well, I’m here to say – WRONG!

I discovered a source of nastiness totally by accident.  One time I thought there was a seed or piece of bone that wouldn’t be ground up, so I put my hand down into the garbage disposal to feel around.  Yes, I can hear you screaming right now! Okay, first of all, I turned it off! What do you think?  I’m stupid? Now I know there’s a some kind of primal aversion to putting your hand down there.  People seem to have this fear that the garbage disposal will spontaneously turn itself on and grind your hand into mincemeat.  All I can say is, I’ve been doing it for years and I still have nine fingers.  (Just kidding!  I have all ten – momma mia!) But, if you’re that squeamish, unplug it under the sink – okay?

My point is, while I had my hand down there, I started feeling under those little pennant-shaped rubber things and they were covered in slime! Same with the hard plastic tube the food goes down.  When you think about it, it makes sense that what with all that we pour down the sink, some of it is going to splash and accumulate on the underside of those black flags.

All you have to do to remedy this is let the water run while you use your hand to wipe all that slime away, under the flags and along the sides of that black tube.  That’s it!  It takes less than a minute, and I’ve never had an odor in my kitchen since.

I mentioned this to my friend, Babs, last time she was over.  When I demonstrated, her eyebrows flew up and I could tell that she was having the “mincemeat hand” nightmare.  I pointed out to her that as long as she’s alone in the kitchen, no one is going to come along and turn on the garbage disposal.  She looked torn.  On one hand, she was scared to death to try it.  On the other, now that she knew what could be lurking in her sink, she couldn’t NOT try it.

Later she called and said, “OH MY GOSH!  I did it and you wouldn’t believe the gunk I found under those flags  Yuck!”  The way she described it, it sounded like a baby “Creature of the Black Lagoon” was incubating in there!

So, there you have it – my household tip.  Maybe everybody else knows it, but I’ve never heard of it before.  So, I’m going to claim it.  So, are you going to try it?  If you do, be sure to come back and leave a comment.  If not, that’s fine, just let it go.  Of course then all that slime will have time to evolve.  Eventually it will sprout arms and legs and pull itself out of the sink, jump to the floor and make its way to your bedroom, leaving little garbage  footprints all the way.  And while you sleep, it will be slithering up your body, heading for your open mouth…

But hey!  Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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Near the first of the month, I wrote this post on the new show “Dating in the Dark.”  To briefly recap the premise for those of you who didn’t read it, three men and three women are segregated in a house and come together only in a common room that is pitch black.  We see the action via infra-red cameras, as they get to know each other on the basis of personality, smell, voice, and touch.  At the end, they each get to choose the one person they’d like to see in the light.  The “reveal” is only about 10 seconds long, after which they go away and decide if they want to meet on the balcony, indicating they’d like to pursue the relationship or go out the front door and leave the show.

I’ve seen every episode and the series has continued to intrigue me, however, I have an admission to make.  As the men talked among themselves about what kinds of women they were attracted to (hot) and the women fretted that they wouldn’t be pretty enough, I pretty much thought I saw the handwriting on the wall.  I could foresee a lot of women sitting by their lonesome out on that balcony while the men hustled out the front door in search of some centerfold babe.  Unfortunately…I was so wrong!

As the couples spent hours in the dark room, making admissions, telling life stories, and responding to each other with understanding, I saw the men start to rethink their strategies and consider the possibility of dating someone based on the bond that was being created.  The women gave lip service to the same idea…until they got to the reveal.  I think so many women had built up such high expectations of what their favored guy would look like that, when he didn’t measure up, they ran for the hills!  Episode after episode I saw truly attractive men go out on the balcony to meet women who were less than gorgeous, but who possessed great personalities (or so we thought) or a quirky lovability.  In one episode, all three women went for this guydating-in-the-dark.  After meeting and getting to know him in the dark, they were ready to scratch each other’s eyes out to win his favor.  Then, after the reveal, every single one of them walked out.  Why?  Because he looked too young.  What?  It wasn’t as if they were all middle-aged women or anything.  No,  what it was was – they were all too shallow.  This kind of thing happened throughout the show, much more often with the women than the men.  It made me disappointed in my own sex.

To be honest, I’ve been known to refuse a date with someone because I could “sense” that we wouldn’t have chemistry and I believe chemistry IS important.  But – and this is a big “but,” if I had gotten to know a man first without seeing what he looked like and was totally enchanted by everything I had found out, I’d like to think I would at least have the courage to give him a chance! These women gave all of us a bad name.

I sincerely hope ABC renews this show next year because it is such a fascinating sociological experiment and the hour just flies by.  But, if they do, I hope they can come up with some women who realize that beauty is truly… just skin deep.

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I know it’s been awhile since my last cloud patrol, but the clouds haven’t been cooperating!  Oh, there have been some out there, true, but they’ve been very unimaginative ones.  No matter how I would screw up my face and squint my eyes, this dullard group of clouds absolutely refused to assume any meaningful shapes!  But, enough excuses, I finally found some with a much more creative bent, so here goes…

This first one I call “Sneezing Guy.”  If you don’t see him right away, let me try to help.  He’s facing left.  His mouth is open and his nose is in the air.  See him?

sneezing guy

This second one should be pretty obvious.  It’s an alligator on the trail of something tasty!

alligator

This third one is a big dog.  He’s looking back over his shoulder.  His nose is turned to the left.  He has two ears on the top of his head.

big dog

And finally, “The Big Face in the Sky.”  Judging by his eyebrows, he’s worried about something.  His mouth is open on the bottom third of the picture.

big face

If you get two out of three, study them a bit more.  If you saw three, you’ve got a good imagination.  Four out of four makes you a creative genius!

So that’s it for today, but, as usual,keep your eyes on the skies!”

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Ad Nauseam

I usually don’t mind commercials on TV and radio.  I use the time to get a cup of tea or to think about other things, letting the ads wash over me like the surf over sand.  But lately, I made the mistake of actually listening to a couple and, momma mia!  I wish I hadn’t…

The first was in the morning on drive-time radio and it was for yet another male enhancement product.  (This must be a bigger problem in the United States than I ever imagined, what with all the “Viva Viagra!” and “Smiling Bob,”etc. ads!) Anyway, this was for a new and improved male enhancement pill.  I was pouring a cup of coffee when I heard, “Men!  This one little pill will make you longer, harder, and (are you ready?) wider !”  I kid you not.  I almost spilled my coffee!  Imagine all the cars filled with kids being taken to school hearing this ad on the radio! “What is wider, Daddy?”  Too much information, far too much information…

bear buttThe other commercial that caught my eye was from an unlikely source…Charmin bathroom tissue.  First of all, it has always struck me as peculiar that Charmin’s mascots answer the age-old question, “does a bear poop in the woods?” In Charmin Land, apparently a bear not only poops in the woods, but also uses toilet paper!  But, okay, I’ve made peace with that.  I mean, I’ve never actually seen a bear pooping, so anything’s possible…

But, back to the latest series of commercials.  The one I saw was the dad bear coming after the baby bear saying, “You can’t pass inspection with pieces left behind!”  And he said that because the baby bear had pieces of toilet paper stuck all over his butt! Ewww!  And double-ewww! Come on, people, do we really want to think about that?  I mean, talk about the tissue being soft.  Talk about it being strong.  Talk about it having a nice fragrance.  But I don’t want to hear about paper sticking to your butt!   You should be ashamed of yourselves!

So ad people, take notice!  I know you have to make a living.  Fine.  But you are seriously crossing the line, people!  No more “wide” willies or poopy toilet paper sticking to behinds!  I mean it!  I’ve got better things to think about, so CUT IT OUT!  Don’t make me have to come get you!  Ya hear?

I think we understand each other.

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Rant-less Friday

Since my last post was an angry rant about my neighbor, I felt it was time to take a deep breath, and concentrate on being serene, which often starts with visualizing places such as this:

sunset beach

Ah!!!! Like it?  So do I.  Now that I’m all mellowed out, I thought I’d try to start your weekend off with a couple of smiles.  First off, proof that what I’ve been telling you is true…

abduction

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I thought I’d share a picture I thought was cute, without being saccharin sweet, if you know what I mean.

PickPocketGang

And finally, while we’re on the subject of ducks anyway, here’s a picture that always makes me smile.

giantduck1

See?  I can rise above all that annoying stuff any old time I want to!

Have a mellow, groovy, smiley type of weekend!

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angry womanIs it a sign of getting old to find yourself dismayed by the increasing lack of consideration and downright arrogance of some people?  If so, then I’m getting old!

Here’s a case in point.  I mentioned in an earlier post that the townhouse next to mine is for sale.  I also mentioned how the neighbor on the other side of that house decided to tear up and replant not only her landscape bed, but her neighbor’s, as well.  Now both beds are full of dying flowers and weeds.  Now that, in itself, is pretty inconsiderate.  I mean, it’s one thing to trash your own property, but something else altogether to diminish the value of a house that’s on the market. But, that’s what she did.  And, that is not all…

There’s one other thing this same neighbor has been doing that is bugging the heck out of me.  Every single night either she or her boyfriend parks a car in the driveway of the house that’s for sale and leaves it there until they leave sometime the next day.  And they’ve been doing it for about three weeks! What’s that about?

At first, I gave them the benefit of the doubt.  I figured that maybe they were working on some project that took up one whole side of their garage.  But that’s not it.  I was leaving the other day at the same time the boyfriend was getting ready to back out of the garage, and their whole garage is completely empty! Besides, there is room on their own driveway for two cars.

So then I thought that maybe the Realtor or owner asked them to park there for some reason.  But the Realtor says absolutely not!  In fact, she was going to ask them to stop since the house is being shown again.  BUT…they’re still doing it!  I have a feeling that when she went over to ask them to move it, they simply didn’t answer the door.

But, the big question is – WHY  are they doing it? I just don’t get it!  Is it just me, or are they being awfully presumptuous?  Where I come from, this would be called “trespassing,” whether someone was living there or not!

Now I know that this has nothing to do with me personally, but I feel it has everything to do with the world we’re living in today.  Does everyone feel they have a sense of entitlement to do whatever they choose?  Whatever happened to respecting the property of others?  I don’t know why it makes me feel so angry since it’s not my property…but I’ll admit it does.

So, am I just losing it?  Do you see anything wrong with this?  Do you have a theory as to why they’re doing this?  If so, please explain it to me in the comments.  Let me assure you once more that when you comment, your identity and email address remain confidential.  I’d just really like to get other views on this, because, honestly, it has me stumped!

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