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Archive for November, 2009

Bits and Pieces #12

Nothing monumental has happened around here lately, but there are a few little things I thought I’d share and/or discuss with you.

#1 – Adam Lambert. I talked in another post about Adam Lambert’s new album cover and the eyebrows it raised.  And I think I also made it clear that the second runner-up in “American Idol” was clearly my favorite.  Well, this week I woke up to a newscaster talking about his “outrageously offensive” performance on the American Music Awards.  It was implied that the whole thing was over-the-top sexual and nothing that should have been shown on broadcast TV.  So, I immediately hunted down the You-Tube video of his performance to see for myself.  Now first let me say that I’m certainly no prude and, as a matter of fact, I’ve always enjoyed Adam’s sexually charged performances.  So I watched it.  Oh. My. Goodness. As Adam, himself, admitted in a later interview, he did go a bit overboard.  And there was one action, in particular, that shocked me.  Later, on “The Early Show” Adam made a point that Eminem sang about raping women and some other artist had rifles in her act but that people chose his act to be shocked by.  He said, “I guess violence is okay, but sex isn’t.”  When his mother was asked about her reaction she said that initially she was “taken aback,” and then later thought, “well, whatever!”  And, you know what?  I kind of feel the same way.  In my old age I guess I’m just not as judgmental as I once was.  I still like him and I still like his music.  This is rock and roll, Baby!

#2 – Danger Cat’s New Girlfriend. Awhile back in THIS post I wrote about Danger Cat, the wild feral cat living in the woods behind my house.  With him being so dangerous and so angry most of the time, I never dreamed he would find true love until I recently saw him skulking around with this furry lady.

I call her Bootsie because, well, just look at her feet – a more perfect set of boots I’ve never seen on a cat.  You can tell by her expression that she’ll be a perfect partner for Danger because she has her own haughty attitude.  When I took this picture, I could just hear her thinking, “Who the hell are YOU?”  Right after I snapped it, she headed into the woods to find her boyfriend.  He must like his ladies big, because she doesn’t look like she has missed too many meals.

#3 – One Gorgeous Sky. One particularly chilly evening I was walking past my window when I happened to notice the sky as the sun was setting.  I immediately ran into the house for my camera and got this shot.

Breathtaking, no?  This picture is a great argument to take the time to step outside now and then and see, really SEE, the world around you.  As I stood there in the chill twilight, I had this tremendous urge to start applauding and yelling, “Bravo, God!”  Here’s another shot.

Every time I see something like this I think the same thing, “So many skies, so little time.”


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Yes, Deer!

Years ago, I knew the  moment I had fallen in love.  It was when I told a man I would go deer hunting with him.  I mean, me, the girliest girly-girl woman I know! The woman who loves make-up, hair, perfume, fingernail polish and lots of pink, was agreeing to go slogging through the woods in the pitch black of night carrying a loaded firearm and probably stepping in who-knows-what,  with the sole mission of making orphans of countless Bambis!

Before you start hyperventilating, let me clarify.  There actually were two things I loved about deer hunting.  First was all the preparatory work.  Before the season opens, you have to go out deep into the woods and look for deer sign to determine where the deer will be.  I love the woods anyway, and this brings out the whole American Indian part of me.  I always pretend I’m Sacajawea.  Next you have to decide where you’ll put your deer stand or hide, because when you go in for the actual hunt, it will be far too dark to look for a place then.  So, all the scouting work in the woods, which you have to do several times, is fun for me.

The other thing I like about deer hunting is carrying around my shotgun.  Now I don’t mean to sound bloodthirsty or anything, but carrying a weapon always makes me feel a tad safer in this uncertain world.  And really, when you own a shotgun, it’s like having a sequined  handbag.  You can’t go walking around with it every single day!  You’d look like a doofus!  You’ve got to pick your chances.  So, when I go hunting, I transform from Sacajawea into Dirty Harry.  And I’m all like, “Go ahead, make my day!”

So, now we get down to time for the actual hunt, and here I’ll come clean with you.  I was working undercover…for the DEER. It’s true, I swear!  Apparently deer have a very keen sense of smell, so hunters have this whole list of “Don’ts” before the hunt.  Don’t bathe or shower with soap.  Don’t wash your clothes in detergent, use baking soda.  Don’t use deodorant, cologne or perfume.  Don’t smoke.  Any of these odors will alert the deer who will stay 100 miles away from you.

I did them all.

When my dear man went down the checklist before we entered the woods, I smiled and said “Yes, dear, yes dear, yes dear.”  And he believed me! I guess his own sense of smell was none too acute.  Beneath my camouflage outfit, I wore a t-shirt that read, “RUN BAMBI, RUN!”  Suffice it to say, we never shot a deer.  Somehow they must have known we were there…ya think maybe? All I know is that the deer always looked really relieved when they saw it was me.

And while I’m on the subject, I wanted to share this hilarious You-Tube video with you.  Jimmy Kimmel tied a stuffed talking deer on a car hood and filmed the results.  If it doesn’t make you laugh, you may need to take your own pulse!

Until next time,

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Giving Thanks

With Thanksgiving looming near, my first impulse was to catalog my many blessings, because there are many.  But, considering that I already do that so often in this blog and in my daily prayers, it almost seems superfluous.  Instead, I want to share this American Indian prayer I came across, which, to me, seems fresh and true and very appropriate:

Aho, Creator, we gather before you in Thanksgiving for the blessings
we have received all throughout the year.  We are thankful for the
hands that have prepared the food for our table, and we are thankful, too,
for our relatives, the two-leggeds, the four leggeds, the winged ones
and all the plant beings who have given their lives
so that we may live.
We thank you for the comfort and joy of our loved ones
who are gathered at our table today.
We are thankful for our families, our elders and our teachers.
We give thanks to the ancestors who also join us today in Spirit,
and we pray the blessings of this Thanksgiving Day light a
good pathway for our days to come.
For all this, we are thankful!

I do want to make one addition to that prayer.  I am thankful for all my dear friends, the ones who have become my family, as well as those I’ve just met and every one of you who are reading this today.

Thank you for being in my life.

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Okay, let me say this right up front – my living room furniture is OLD.  It is so old that I can’t even remember what year I bought it.  But, it is also sturdy and extremely well-made.  I remember that when I got it, way back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, I went to a store that was exclusively for interior decorators, thanks to an inside contact, and paid a pretty penny.  The thing I like about having old furniture is that you don’t have to worry about it anymore.  It’s sort of like when you get the first scratch on a brand-new car. Once that has happened, it has lost its virginity.   In my home, I can invite my friends to put their feet up on the coffee tables.  And, if a soda spills on the sofa, oh well, it’s had worse.  It’s a comfortable feeling.

So, that’s why I hadn’t really spent much time studying new trends in furniture or home accessories.  But then I stumbled upon this neat site called Web Urbanist and saw some stuff that really appealed to me.  What I love about these things is that they are not only functional, but also creative, whimsical and art.  Take this light, for example…how cool would it be to have this little fellow waiting in your bedroom as mood lighting?

Then there’s this minimalist clock.  It may take a moment for you to master, but, once you do, you realize how unique it is.

Okay, I can hear some of you complaining that maybe this is too far out for your conservative tastes.  Then how about a nice illuminated bathtub?  For another thousand dollars or so, you can even have it with LED lights that change colors!

And if you think that’s still a bit much, how about an all-wood bathtub?  You’ve got to admit this one is really beautiful. 

And finally, some real furniture.  When I saw these tables, I got the immediate impression that they were running.  They also feel to me like they’ve emerged from the bottom of the sea.  See what I mean about furniture as art?

Now that I’ve got a taste for all the cool and beautiful things to be had, I’m thinking I should replace everything…and I will…

just as soon as I win the lottery!

That’s it for now.

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In my part of the country, we’ve just gotten our first taste of winter…several days in a row in the 30’s and 40’s filled with either rain or snow, with occasional heavy winds.  We had day after day of sunless gloom, which can really take a toll on the spirit.  And it’s not even December yet! Take that and add in the local news, which is 85% bad and it’s easy to start going downhill real fast, if you know what I mean.

So, I’ve decided that this year I’m going to make a conscious effort to not let myself be pulled into the abyss of depression or sadness in those times when the world seems like a hopeless case.  This is going to take some effort, but I know I can do it.

It starts with the news.  The media today is omnipresent, always eager to dish up the gory details of any crime, the newest scam, natural disasters, threats to our health and/or finances and any other depressing, shocking, or tragic news they can lay their hands on.  My rule is to listen to just enough to be aware of what I need to know …and no more. When they start repeating themselves (and they always do,) I hit the “mute” button.  I’ve also taken to hitting it when I realize that something is starting to dirty up my head with unnecessary negativity. Why should I listen to garbage that just makes me feel bad?

As for the weather –  on days when it is absolutely miserable outside, I’m going to make an effort to occupy myself with pleasurable and interesting things inside. And when that’s harder than usual, I’ll just close the damned blinds!   I may have to start reciting, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”  But, one way or the other, I’m fighting back!  Winter’s not going anywhere, so I just need to find ways to cope…

Oh, I don’t expect to feel like Susie Sunshine every day.  I am human, after all.  But at least I won’t be a victim of circumstances surrounding me in the world.

From now on I intend to take a more active role in shaping my own reality.  I’ll choose my reactions a little more carefully.  Rather than “It’s so depressing outside!” I’ll think, “It’s so cozy and warm inside.” And rather than “Damn!  My appointment was for 30 minutes ago and I’m still waiting,” it’ll be “Oh good.  I’ve got more time to read my book.” You get the drift.

It won’t be easy, but I don’t choose to let the news discourage me.  Nor do I choose to let the dark days of winter weigh me down and fill me with hopelessness.  Instead, I’m going to make different choices.

I’m going to opt for joy.

I’m going to choose…happiness.

Wish me luck?

 


 

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While walking up and down the aisles of the Internet, I’ve come across some neat little curiosities I want to share with you.  None of them are earthshaking, but rather just things that might make you go “Hmmmm…” or “Awwww!”

First up, as you’re making up your Christmas list, you might consider these bread shoes designed by two Estonian designers.  But, if you want my honest opinion, I think they would make crummy gifts.  Sorry about that.

bread shoes

Next up, we have this very clever doorstop that represents the bad witch from the Wizard of Oz when the house fell on her.  I feel this is quite wonderfully creative, and I would use it in a heartbeat!  It sells for $19.99 at Amazon.

doorstop

This next item delights the ghoulish side of me.  It’s a Barbie USB flash drive.  Isn’t it just too cool?

barbie USB flash drive

Okay, for a change of pace, I think this next one represents one of the most original tattoos I’ve seen.  My late father would have gotten a chuckle out of this.  He used to defend his baldness by saying, “you can’t grow grass on a busy racetrack,” or some such hokey old saying.

best head tatoo

And last, but certainly not least,  I found a picture of the world’s smallest horse.  Her name is Thumbelina and she lives on a farm in St. Louis, Missouri.  She’s 17″ tall and weighs 60 pounds.  Her size has been attributed to dwarfism so, in effect, she’s a miniature of a miniature.   According to her owners, “When she was young, she found the dog kennel and decided she would bed in with the dogs rather than with bigger horses.”

smallest horse

Come on!  Tell me you didn’t go “Awwww” when you saw her!   How could you not?  I guess that fills up your “cuteness” quota for the day.  Until next time…

Star Signature

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Several friends have asked me how my new neighbor is working out.  Well, considering how annoying, rude and obnoxious the last neighbors were, this guy is a prince!  I never hear him and rarely see him.  Part of that, I attribute to his hours.  I mentioned that he works for Fed Ex.  What I forgot to mention is that he leaves for work at about 2:30 A.M.!!! Then he seems to get home sometime between 1:00 and 2:00 p.m.  So, in some ways, it feels like I have no neighbor over there at all, which is not a bad thing.

But there remains a mystery.  When I met this man, he told me he and his 23 year old son had moved in.  The son allegedly attends college and works part-time.  All the rest of the time he plays video games in the basement, according to his dad.

Okay.  But, it’s been over a month now and I’ve seen no evidence at all of a son. No son going out to the mailbox.  No son pulling in or out of the garage (which is right next to mine.)  No son walking up to the clubhouse or stepping outside for a breath of fresh air.  In short…no son at all.

Now, maybe he’s just elusive.  Or, he could just be very, very short and thin and almost transparent. Then there’s always the vampire thing…with him not coming out in the daylight.  Or maybe the son possesses a Cloak of Invisibility like Harry Potter’s and has been coming and going like crazy. Those things work, you know!

Or maybe, just maybe…there is no son.

Think about it.  Could it be that nice Mr. Fed Ex man has a split personality?split personality Maybe he comes home at 2:00, looking like a friendly cub scout leader in his little Fed Ex shorts and then, the minute he’s in the house, his other personality takes over!!! Maybe then he changes into jeans and a black Metallica t-shirt, goes down to the basement and loses himself in some wizardy video game, believing he is a 23 year old!  At some point he falls asleep and then, when the alarm rings at 2:00 a.m., he wakes up, Mr. Smiley Face again, having no idea that his “23 year old son” is, in reality, himself!!!   Oh, come on!  It could happen!  You people have no imagination!

movie psychoBut, if you don’t buy into that theory, which I do think is an excellent one, that only leaves me with my other idea – The  Psycho theory.  Yes, he lives there with his 23 year old son, or rather, the dessicated corpse of his son which he has kept with him for 23 years. And, even as I’m writing his, that son-corpse is sitting propped up in a chair in the guest room of the house next door!   M-WAAAAAAH!!!!

Okay, I didn’t want to go there, but you guys made me! So, what do YOU think is going on ?

Star Signature

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