Excuse me while I cry, but I’m still reeling over Sunday’s episode of “The Amazing Race,” the Emmy-winning reality show in which sixteen two-person teams complete in a race around the world for a million dollars.
I’m a huge fan of this show, having watched it from the beginning, and I always winnow down the teams, until I find the one I’m going to pull for. This year it was Lakisha and Jen, a sister team. On Sunday, we were down to four teams left, out of which one would be eliminated and three would go on to the finale in a race for the million dollars. I wanted “my girls” to be in that final three because, in my opinion, they were the most likable of the remaining teams.
At first it didn’t look good. They were the last team to start out and they had to play catch-up, which they certainly did. They did a challenge in which they had to dress up in Kabuki costumes and put the traditional make-up on each other. They stayed so focused that they pulled ahead of the mother and son team who, in my opinion have become very nasty and negative toward my team! They ran for their next clue, only to discover they had been “U-turned” by the brother and sister team of Victor and Tammy, who already had the advantage of being Chinese in China where this took place. A “U-turn” means that, instead of just choosing between two challenges, the “U-turned” team has to do both! So now they had to go back to a Chinese restaurant, take a table full of orders in Chinese and convey them to the chef, in Chinese! I thought they were goners for sure! But they persevered and finally earned their next clue, still ahead of one team, a pair of redheaded cheerleaders, one of whom is the most “Ugly American” imaginable.
Their final challenge was for one member to eat a plateful of Chinese delicacies consisting of larvae, scorpions and starfish. Jen, the little sister volunteered and primarily choked it all down with four bottles of water. While they were there, the cheerleaders showed up, and one of them started chowing down like a starving farmhand who has been plowing the fields all day. I was getting SO NERVOUS…
Jen and Lakisha finished the challenge just minutes ahead of the other team, grabbed a cab and headed toward the pit stop, which was the end of this leg of the race. I was sitting there cheering like a maniac. They were going to make it! Ya-hoo! In the cab, Jen complained that she had to pee so bad, but I thought nothing of it because I knew that after they hit the mat, and secured their place in the finals, she’d have all the time in the world to pee.
The cab arrives. They jump out and start running…but, WAIT! Instead of running to Phil, the host, they detour to the Porta-Potties, where Jen ducks into one. HUH? Did I mention that the other team was only seconds behind them? I believe I yelled, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” so loudly that my whole neighborhood heard it! I was stunned. My almost lifeless body hit the floor, as the hateful cheerleaders pulled ahead, hit the mat, and secured a place in the final three. I have never seen a team do something so stupid. And after all the support and encouragement I’ve given them! I’m still numb.
So, just for the record, if I’m ever in a race, heading for the finish line and feel like I have to go to the bathroom, let it be known I won’t hesitate to pee my panties in a New York minute! No sirree! Pee-pee-pee!
After all, a MILLION DOLLARS will buy a whole lot of detergent!
I’m still laughing. That is such a funny story. I love your descriptions of the action and the tension right up to the last second where they stupidly veered off to the porta-potties. I can still see you lying there on the floor, exhausted and distraught. I’m with you on that one! hahahahah
Hey I feel your pain on this elimination. I was also screaming. I was in denial and disbelief that Jen actually stopped for a pee instead of securing their spot in final three for one million dollars. I was screaming “What are you doing, are you crazy! You must be crazy! I feel for you, I really do. Great comical story. 😀