That “Uh-oh” Feeling

I shoulda known…

I had had a totally uneventful dental year until a couple of months ago when a tooth abscessed and I had to have a very difficult root canal done by a very expensive specialist.  (The root was so curved that my regular dentist didn’t want to attempt it.) That shot me up to almost my insurance dental limit for the year.  Then came my six month check-up which put me there.  “That’s okay,” I thought.  “Not much of the year left.”

AND THEN earlier Sunday when I was chewing, I kept getting the feeling that one of my upper crowns was moving just a little bit. But, I checked it and thought it was my imagination.  Queen of Denial, yup!  I thought about it again Sunday night when I was in the bathtub and checked it with my finger.  Uh-oh! This time it moved more than a little bit!  It moved a lot!  “That’s okay,” I thought again (ever the optimist!)”I have some of that temporary dental cement stuff and that stuff holds really well.  I can fix it myself! No problem!”  I found the stuff and set up my own little temporary dental lab at my dressing table, and gently “eased” the loose crown off.  But wait!  It didn’t look right.  It wasn’t hollow in the middle!  That’s because there was still “tooth” in it!

UH-OH…

Apparently, the tooth broke off at the gum.  No pain so far unless you count that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  So, I’ll be calling the dentist’s office as soon as they open today to see if they can get me in.  Joy.  At least it’s not right in front.  And as long as I don’t smile big, it will be my little secret.

But…I shoulda known.

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A case of the “sads”…

I didn’t write anything yesterday because I was busy trying to outrun a big case of the “sads.”  The best way to describe this condition is to picture me as a tiny stick figure walking down a lonely road.  Above and slightly behind me is a huge, dark, furious-looking storm cloud and it’s moving in on me fast.  If I falter or slow down the slightest bit, a coldness begins to enshroud me and my mood starts to plummet.  Occasionally, when I become too tired to run, the sads close in and all the stresses, disappointments and annoyances I’ve been trying not to think about, hit me hard, and I tend to withdraw.

Now I know some people cling to their grievances, going over and over them, as if they were the prayer beads of their existence.  That’s not me.  For the most part, I try to be a positive, “up” person, counting my blessings instead.  But, I have learned over time that there are all sorts of contributing factors that bring the sads on.  Some are in my control, but many aren’t.  For example, the new neighbor (who hasn’t yet moved in,) is having all sorts of work done on the house every day.  I’ve been trying to ignore the thumps and bumps and constant hammering.  But this week, there were two days when men were over there installing tile.  They didn’t begin until about 4:00 p.m.  They set up their tile saw on her front porch and sawed and sawed and sawed way into the night. It so happens they were almost right under my open bedroom window.  Now I don’t know if you’ve ever heard a tile saw, but the sound is like a banshee being tortured by a mad dentist!  Needless to say, those were two nights in a row that I didn’t get my quota of sleep. When I’m tired, I’m vulnerable.  When I’m vulnerable, the sads pounce…

There are a million other little things all ganging up on me right now and experience has taught me that the best I can do is to simply ride it out. And, ride it out I will.

By the way, this condition is not to be confused with what my friend, Dean used to call “the mean reds.”  The mean reds are much more proactive.  The mean reds are when so many things are getting on your nerves, that you have an overwhelming urge to just go kick the poop out of somebody.  I think I’d like that ever so much better! I don’t have those today, but…the new neighbor is moving in Saturday, so time will tell.

What do you do when the “sads” are closing in on you?

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